Assorted hilarity before the holiday weekend: elevator hijinks (h/t Jeff, and seriously, how can you NOT get in the disco elevator?), Goodnight Keith Moon (h/t Frank), and best Bohemian Rhapsody ever (h/t everybody, but it's too awesome not to post).
1. Taste/Quality of Ingredients. Obvious enough. But if I was going to put together a web site that rated and reviewed burrito joints (of which I'm sure there are several, I just haven't bothered to look), I'd hit some of these other points too.
2. Distribution. A good burrito has the ingredients sufficiently spread out within the tortilla, so that each bite gets a little bit of everything. If all your jalapeņos are stacked up together, or if one end is full of meat while the other end has no meat, that's points against.
3. Polarity. As a follow-on to distribution, is your burrito oriented in such a direction that you get that cross-section thing going? Or is it meat on the left, beans and rice on the right?
4. Malleability. If the polarity is all wrong, can you twist and/or reshape the burrito to fix it? Sometimes you can, sometimes it falls the hell apart. Which leads us to...
5. Neat vs. sloppy. I will readily acknowledge that a sloppy burrito isn't necessarily a bad thing; I've had some great burritos that were in fact a glorious mess. However, all other things being equal, a burrito that stays neat is better than one that drips stuff out the back end or develops premature tortilla rips and tears.
6. Does it come with free chips? Self-explanatory.
Our friends at the Poor Man Institute have mapped out one of the internal paradoxes necessary to be an orthodox American conservative these days.
The ever-brilliant Dan Savage lays the smackdown on gay marriage opponents.
It's a shame when your favorite bar closes--mine was Dr. Dremo's, or as I remember it, Bardo Rodeo. So I appreciated the news this week that they're trying to make a comeback.
Lastly, this confirms what I already knew: Wii Fit is better than no workout at all, but only just.
I like sugary breakfast cereals as much as the next guy, if not more. But the specious health claims made on the packaging always amuse and perplex me. This is probably going too far.
World Series follow-up: Several people told me they couldn't decide who to cheer for in this Series, as they hated both teams and/or their fans. The Daily Show explores the fan bases further. But they can't be any worse than this person. And the ever-awesome Joe Posnanski expounds on the Yankees' money advantage, how it's actually under-exposed, and what it means for the rest of baseball.
Saved the serious one for last this week, for some reason. The ever-awesome Fred Clark on the Prisoners' Dilemma/Pascal's Wager view of charity cases. I have long thought in somewhat this fashion when it comes to welfare and other safety net programs. I'd rather take care of ALL the people in the lower-right box, and if that means a few freeloaders in the lower left come along for the ride, so be it.
After the game some tool from Fox was interviewing someone, Girardi I think, and asked "27 world championships, how does this team consistently come through when the lights are brightest?"
And I shouted at the TV, "Because they MAKE THE MOST MONEY! And can SIGN THE BEST PLAYERS!"
Yes, yes, my Yankee fan friends will jump to say "It's not just about the money! You have to spend it wisely!" But it sure as hell doesn't hurt, now does it. This Deadspin complaint-fest about Yankee Stadium makes me dislike the team even more. The "moat." Sweet merciful crap.
But nonetheless, congrats to Jason, Bruce, Crazy Steve, Otis, Grandma Rheta, and any other Yankee fans I may have forgotten. Enjoy it. Good for Matsui, who is a fine ballplayer and seems like a good guy.
I have to say, the Phillies having won last year makes this a lot more bearable. If they hadn't won last year, if Philly was still on that title drought, I'd have been crushed by this. As it is, I'm disappointed, but it's not like I had trouble getting out of bed this morning.